In a singular moment I saw your devices defined
And thrown into a light that only served to remind
Of all the little insecurities you had me believe
And that your face has a twin you only use to deceive
And now
Another twelve hours ahead
Another sixty dozen minutes where I wish I was dead
It fades away
But you can't forget
Cause every memory's replaced by a new regret
It goes
Go away
Get away
I don't want to live the motions of yesterday
Go away
Stay away
I won't let go of my hope to let you have your way
You were always the one who said you were trying to help
But when I looked your way you were always helping yourself
And in times of tr
My glacial fortress
Ice seeping through the cracks
My glacial fortress
A castle no one attacks
No one infiltrating
Nobody up here in the grey
No one instigating
No one left to go away
Wish I could remember...
(What it was that kept you here)
Wish I could remember...
(Now it's all but disappeared)
Wish I could remember...
(Frozen so deep, no longer clear)
Wish I could...
Could have somewhere to be if
There was anywhere left to go
Could have someone to be with
If there was anyone left to know
My glacial fortress
A timeless world of black and blue
My glacial fortress
Is so much colder without you
No one infiltrating
No light shines here in
I still run from my tears
Though they show that I survived
I still hide from my shadow
Though it proves I never died
I still reject your kindness
(Shy from that which seems alive)
And still I hear these voices
All they ever ask is why
Why there's nothing left to spend
Why I'm left bereft again
Of energy / my enemies all waiting for my end
Why I block but can't defend
Why I bleed but still pretend
That all I see / draining from me / Is possible to mend
...
...
I still decide what's right
Although my means themselves are wrong
I still shout that I'm what's left
But I was whispering all along
I dismiss the rest as weak
(Just pretending to
Love
Sharp like a diamond,
Round like a club.
Suited in red,
And pumping out blood.
Bottom like a spade,
Top like a clover.
Painting the walls
With what's left over.
Injecting black
Through the body of grey.
Corroding veins
Decaying them away.
Sharp like a scalpel,
Round like a clover.
Dripping the floor
With what's left over.
---
The frailest of muscles,
Entrapped in its cage.
Nursing no leakage,
No hurts to assuage.
No outrage or conflict,
Yet divided in two.
Like the halves of a mind,
With a hole right through.
A dormant devotion
That was never awake.
A mirror so empty
That's destined to break.
The faintest of shadows,
Flickering
Stuck in the games
Our eyes meet
In yours, reflections of a hate
That won't admit defeat
Pleasure and pain
The equal sides
Laughter in yours fed by the hurt
That slowly drips from mine
You long for something to call yours
You never felt at home
You wish for how it was before
When you weren't all alone
Well now you know and now it shows
You never cared about your health
All the hurt you dealt and the joy you felt
Repeatedly defeated yourself
And now it's only you
Desperation soaking through
Go away
Give no chances
Make them crawl
Whisper again that things are fine
You haven't changed at all
Trying to drive me
Off my dee
Rain on the window
Water on the glass
Each streak a tear
From memories past
Stains on the paper
Blurs on the ink
Drowning the words
That say what I think
Rustle of fabric
Creak of the chair
Anger in fists
Grief in the air
Thoughts about life
And what could have been
It couldn't have happened
This isn't a dream
What's going on? I don't understand
Trying to reach but I can't find your hand
Where have you gone? What happens now?
I only see nothing somehow
Why did this happen? I don't know why
A magnitude nine to shake my comfort goodbye
When did I go wrong? What did I do?
To continue without all of you
Leather on carpet
Point the way to happiness with your hand painted red (pointing at your own face)
Smear the way to freedom with sacrifices I've bled (pantomiming true grace)
Cover truth with lies and blur the lines that lie between (a violating embrace)
Justify the greed you sow, and what your actions mean (pointing at your own face)
Times like these that make me wonder
If you intended to pull yourself asunder
Do you smile to yourself at night in hopes
Of reviving the feelings that have long since eloped
Do you close your eyes and bare your teeth
In hopes of hiding what has always been beneath
'Cause I do
Yeah I do
I've always held my word to you